So I've got a question...
We get a lot of questions for our fairies from the children they visit. To answer these, we take an afternoon off every month, pull them all into a conference room, sweeten them up with sugary snacks, and go through these one by one.
As you'd expect, no two fairies answer a question in quite the same way. In fact, some don't even answer the question.
How do the tooth fairies get into a house, particularly when there is no chimney?
Bumblefee: Every tooth fairy gets a magic key when he or she joins The Tooth Fairy Company. It can open any door in the whole world.
Flitterfee: A magic key? Really? I never got one. At least I don't remember gettting one. I always have to try and squeeze myself under the door. And even though I am tiny, it’s still not easy. Sometimes I get stuck. One time, in fact, I had to wiggle and wiggle to get inside. I didn’t realize my costume had gotten caught on a sliver of wood on the bottom of the door. And it stayed there! I’m sure glad that no one was awake to see me. Otherwise, I would've been so-o-o embarrassed.
Bumblefee: Oh, Flitterfee! That’s hilarious. But you should definitely have your own magic key. I’m sure we can find an extra one lying around here somewhere.
How does a tooth fairy get a tooth from under a pillow if a child is sleeping on it?
Smigglesfert: Oh, I know, I know! Please let me answer that question. We all learn about this problem at school and how to solve it. It’s one of the first things we cover, in fact. When you can’t reach under a pillow because a child is sleeping on it, you need to tickle the child’s neck until they roll over. Then you can reach under the pillow and grab the tooth.
Ariafee: I remember learning that in school too. But I’ve actually come up with a better technique. I sing my “Roll Over” song in the child’s ear. Don't worry; I sing softly so I don’t wake them up. But I know that they still hear the words because they always roll over. Children just love my beautiful singing.
Mischiefee: Are you sure they're not rolling over to get away from all that racket?
Is it fun to fly?
Bumblefee: Oh yes! Flying is so much fun. Except sometimes I don’t pay attention to where I’m going and I crash into something. It’s not fun when you get a bump on your head or a bend in your wing.
Dr. Say-ah-fee: Well, you know, Bumblefee, if you would stop texting on your cell phone when you’re flying, you wouldn’t have that problem. And I wouldn’t have a shortage of bandaids.
What do you like most about your job?
Fweebolwitz: All the ToothLoot I steal from the children.
Smigglesfert: Hey, how did he get in here? Someone call Security!
Ariafee: You can't do things like that, Fweebolwitz. That's so naughty. Children give us their teeth, and they expect ToothLoot in return. Shame on you for stealing it! This is why you're not a tooth fairy anymore.
Skeeterflip: Well, I like wearing my Tooth Checker uniform. It makes me look very important . . . and dignified . . . and handsome.
Flitterfee: So true, Skeeterflip, you are like so-o-o totally handsome.
Mischiefee: Oh, brother. I’m getting sick.
Bumblefee: I like flying by all those donut shops. And I like hearing how excited the children get after we visit them. That’s probably the best part of being a tooth fairy for me.