The Skeeterflip Report #2
Let me start by saying that I am thrilled to report that Flitterfee has returned. You might recall from last week’s report how she'd flown away to look for a pen and piece of paper to write down her New Year’s Resolutions and hadn't come back. We weren’t sure if and when we were ever going to see her again.
Well, she is here now, but you won’t believe where she was.
After she started to fly back to the house where she’d left her pen and notebook after a tooth pick-up, two minutes and 13 seconds into her journey she forgot where she was going. And because she wasn’t on an official tooth pick-up assignment, she had no name or address to refer to.
Now one would think that this would be a good time to turn around and head back home. But not Flitterfee. She just kept flying. And flying and flying. She ended up flying around the entire world. Three times. I think she would still be flying except she felt thirsty and stopped here to gulp down a drink.
Needless to say, she sure keeps things interesting.
Another tooth fairy that made for an interesting week is Smigglesfert, our Tooth Fairy-in-Training. Last week, if you remember, he started sneezing when he saw those hot pink jeggings that Mischiefee had hung up in his closet. As you know, the thought of wearing any other color but brown gets him all worked up. And when he’s worked up, he sneezes like crazy.
In an effort to get a handle on this problem, he made an appointment with Dr. Say-ahh-fee. Dr. Say-ahh-fee told him to put his finger under his nose when he felt like sneezing. But only one finger from one hand. Unfortunately, Smigglesfert forgot that part of the instructions and put one finger from each hand under his nose. With both hands up by his face, he can’t write. Which means he can’t do his homework assignments from The Tooth Fairy Academy. Which stresses him out. Which causes him to sneeze. Which makes him keep both fingers up under his nose. The way I see it, he’s in an endless loop, with no way out. Dr. Say-ahh-fee sure has his work cut out for him with this one.
Wrapping up this week’s report is Bumblefee. Last week I recommended that we help her get a handle on her donut-eating and cupcake-consuming habit. Since we’re in the business of teeth, we can’t have her out there representing us tooth fairies like that.
This week I noticed her eating huge bowls of salad. Like huge. Like more salad than seven tooth fairies would eat. Thinking that was a bit odd. But encouraged nonetheless at her seeming progress in this area, I asked if I could share some of her salad. She said absolutely and handed me a fork.
Two bites in, my fork hit something soft and squishy. When I pulled my fork up to my mouth, what did I see but a donut hole sticking on the end of it. I asked her, "What is this?!" She said it was a donut salad, a recipe she made up all by herself. The secret ingredient was to use donuts instead of lettuce. That also explained why the salad looked so big. She had filled her bowl with donuts and then covered these with a thin layer of lettuce. Between you and me, it was pretty tasty.
That’s it for this week’s updates. I’ll send another report soon.
The Skeeterflip Report is the official record of our tooth fairies' activities, as observed and chronicled by Inspector Skeeterflip, our Loose Tooth Checker and self-appointed company reporter. Unofficially, it's a tooth fairy story. But we try not to call it that in front of him.